Sleeping woes……. Zzzzzz ???

Insomnia.
At times just the mention of this word is enough to traumatize people who have grappled with this condition. Sleep related issues seem to go hand in hand with our urban curry, hurry, worry lifestyle. Infact, it certainly is a condition created by our city life. Wrong dietary habits, lack of exercise, absence of a sleep routine & stress all contribute to sleep disorders. But at the root lies our thinking – the lack of faith.

Last night as I lay awake in bed, listening to the family gossip, I wondered for the nth time why cant I sleep. I lead a what seems to be healthy lifestyle. Eating sensibly, exercise regularly, work comfortably and enjoy a abundant life. Yet, here I am – AWAKE!! Infact, just thinking that I do all the “right things” yet “suffer” just makes it worse. Finally, I did drift off, thanks to some abdominal breathing, only to awaken at 3 am!!

Now, just so that u know, ive had insomnia couple of years back for almost a year. Thinking, thinking … useless, mundane thoughts over & over. It was frustrating & so very very tiring. I have feared it & hating myself to let a condition create such havoc in my life. What really got me was the question WHY. I had tried all traditional methods – warm baths, soothing music, chamomile teas, sleeping pills, pranayamas –though relieved symptom for a while, nothing restored sleep regularity. I was quite a mess. Went for counseling to experienced professional, yet remained clueless.

One early morning as I lay awake in bed, too tired to think it, something said don’t worry, everythings gonna be alright. It felt right, I just listened to that voice & that was it. Ive slept better that night & it did get better after a while. Nowadays I enjoy undisturbed, restoring sleep.

Then there was last night. So, I lay there wondering what am I worrying abt. The inside me said that, ok, look here buddy I had to make this wake up call coz u weren’t listening to me. You forced me to wake you to get your attention. You haven’t been thinking straight, going back to your old ways of distructive behavior. Be clear what you want & it will come to you. Your doing what seems right by others but is it really what you want?? Your trying to fit in, rather than creating you world.

As usual, this inside me was right. My new years resolution was to listen to me first. Just 18 days and I had slipped up. Well, for the first time I was happy for this unearthly hour wake up call!!

We, as makers of our lives, our destiny, think that we need to organize, think, plan everything. Actually we just need to be listening to ourself & everything will fall in plan. Now, this does need an abundance of unwavering faith which I must confess I have not maintained recently. I let doubting thoughts & feelings in. Like weeds they take roots so easily.

Awareness, as usual, is the key.